


Close to the Sky

by dullneedles



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: BoyxBoy, Falling In Love, Fluff, M/M, young but legal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-04-18 23:45:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4724657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dullneedles/pseuds/dullneedles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's hard for an introvert to move through the close-packed crowds of Tokyo. Renji steals away to the roof regularly to be alone with his thoughts. He didn't want company... unless it was a certain someone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Close to the Sky

A hand scattered a mixture of seeds and bread crumbs in wide sweeps, to fill the bellies of a flock of hungry crows. The glossy black birds squawked and nipped at each other, each trying to get the largest portion of food.

“Knock it off, shitheads. There’s enough for everyone.” Renji bitched affectionately at the murder of crows pecking about frantically for their dinner. “Even you, Loner.”

Some distance away, on the far side of the roof, a huge white bird perched alone. Renji cocked his arm back and pegged a large piece of potato in his direction. With two strong flaps of his beautiful wings, the bird snatched the treat right out of the air. Renji grinned proudly at his natural agility.

“Good boy,” He murmured, watching the albino crow delicately break the potato into pieces with his beak to eat one by one.

The ghoul settled back in his favorite spot atop the headquarters for the fourth ward. Lots of other ghouls of all ages lived here, knowing it was the safest place in the ward and the food was plentiful, just like the crows. Every ghoul under this roof was indebted to the leader in some way, and repaid him by adding their strength to the group.

Renji had been sleeping here for the past few weeks after making peace with Uta after their longstanding feud.

He hadn’t been in the area long before he was routinely jumped by the ghouls that ran the show around here. Renji had been just passing through the ward in his travels and discovered their secret eating locations by accident. Free food was free food, but his presence wasn't exactly welcomed by the residents. Renji hung about, picking off the ghouls that threatened him and absorbed their strength by devouring them.

Uta was sent to reason with him time after time, but to no avail. Renji’s stubbornness was the stuff of legends. He had his own reasons for his cannibalism and would stop for no one, and thus… their war began.

But that was all over with now. He got to know Uta after fighting him so many times and they became tentative friends after awhile. Renji wasn’t entirely comfortable around him yet, but then again, he wasn’t entirely comfortable around _anyone._

Renji was very much an introvert and had trouble making inconsequential small talk. It was a mystery to him how Uta could just smile at a perfect stranger and make friendly conversation, even after trying to decapitate the same ghoul minutes before. It was a talent Renji did not have and he was fairly jealous of the ease in which Uta moved through crowds of people. He was beloved, here. Although, the gang was intimately aware of the astounding violence Uta was capable of and did their best not to arouse his ire.

Renji was happy to have a warm place to sleep at night, and in a comfortable bed as well. It had been a long time since he had a somewhat stable home. He didn’t really like how many people were constantly coming and going through headquarters, and was happiest hanging out all alone, up on the roof. It was a clever hiding place from all the noise and chaos downstairs.

Renji closed his eyes, savoring a warm gust of wind as it blew his pale hair around his face. It was easier to breathe this close to the sky. It felt so good to be up high, so far from all the horror and despair on the ground. He would hide himself away up here when the rest of the gang wouldn’t leave him be.

It had become a running joke to hassle him with inappropriate questions until Renji got pissed off and stormed away in irritation. He was sick to death of hearing _“What’s your favorite position?”_ or _“Spit or swallow?_ ” It was like living with a bunch of fourteen year-olds. Well, there were a few fourteen year-olds living there, but they were much better behaved than their infantile seniors.

Renji had busted the lock on the old maintenance shed he found on the rooftop and sifted through piles of rusted tools and machinery. He located a beat up old lawnchair inside that served as a comfortable place to sit and read. He shoved all the garbage to the sides of the shed and threw open the doors to create a makeshift veranda. Renji had the best view in the city and enjoyed the hell out of it on a regular basis. He loved coming up here after it rained heavily, the humidity of the metropolis below him rose up in terrestrial clouds, covering the architecture in patches and smears of brilliant color. He was no artist, but he could spot a beautiful composition when he saw one.

Renji sighed happily. He paged through his book with content, absentmindedly biting his nails and enjoying the silence. When that silence was shattered by a voice directly over his head, Renji rolled out of his lounge chair in a split second, crouching into a defensive posture automatically. He’d been ambushed by other ghouls too many times in his life not to respond with an instinctual reaction like that.

“Oh look, Papa Raven has been feeding his babies.”

Renji’s eyes had boiled red as he prepared to release his kagune until a head popped down from the roof of the shed. He relaxed, recognizing that easy smile instantly. He blinked up at him, irises flickering back to their usual clear grey.

“Yo, Renji.” Uta saluted with a toothy grin, his bleach blonde hair hanging straight down toward the ground.

“Jesus _fuck,_ the hell’d you come from? Thought I blocked that door… ” Renji had piled metal parts in front of the door to the roof, wanting adequate time to get the hell out of there if the idiots downstairs had discovered his hiding spot.

“You did. I came up the side. Thought I’d surprise you.”

Renji unclenched the fistful of t-shirt over his pounding heart and took a deep breath, trying to get his pulse back down to a normal rate. “Mission accomplished.” He grumbled, snatching his book off the ground. Renji plopped back into his lounge chair with an annoyed expression.

Uta gripped the edge of the shed’s roof, flipping himself down gracefully as any feline. “Knew I’d find you up here.” He grinned playfully, readjusting the leopard print headband in his messy blonde hair.

Renji stared into the misty distance, not feeling inclined for idle chit-chat. Uta didn’t mind, of course. He could rattle on and on about nothing, provided Renji made a cursory grunts at the proper times to make it seem like he was listening.

“How’d they run you off this time?” Uta chuckled, settling down beside him with a jingle of bracelets and buckles. “Ask you your favorite position or something?” He nudged Renji's knee with his shoulder when no answer was forthcoming. “Or was it the hamster thing again?” Renji sighed with irritation. So much for his peace and quiet.

“Itori’s trying to hook me up with her friend Kaya… Kirin…? Something with a K… for like, the fourth time. Keeps shoving her in my face.”

“Don’t like her, huh.”

“…”

Renji didn’t respond for a long moment, suddenly wishing he had gone somewhere else to read. “Or… do you like someone else?” Uta seemed unusually interested in his non-existent love life right now.

“…It’s not about liking or disliking… They do this shit because they know it gets under my skin.” Renji responded before catching himself. _“Ugh, don’t encourage him, dumbass…”_ He admonished himself sternly, turning back to his book. Uta nodded, conceding the point.

“But Kira really does like you quite a bit, so I’m told.” Uta settled back on his elbows, stretching his boots out lazily in front of him and gazing out over the rooftops. “She’s a cool girl, really pretty and fucking vicious in a fight. You could do a lot worse.”

Renji didn’t have to ask. He really didn’t. “Why aren’t you with her if she’s so great.” Uta shrugged noncommittally.

“Not my taste.”

“I thought skinny with big tits was everyone’s taste.”

“Girls, I mean.” Renji looked up from his book, meeting Uta’s crimson eyes with a surprised expression. Uta grinned back at him, sweeping black-tipped fingers through his messy hair. He used to that reaction. “That bother you?”

“Nah. Why would it?”

“No reason.” They sat there in blissful silence for a long moment before Uta gestured to the white crow who was inching closer to the scattered leftovers strewn around the roof. “Call that one over? I wanna draw him.” Renji raised a skeptical eyebrow in his direction.

“I’m not a bird-whisperer.”

“Bullshit _,_ you’re not. You come up here and talk to them all the damn time and they come right to you.”

“What the fuck, man? You’ve been _spying_ on me?!” Uta dug in his bag to retrieve his sketchbook, unconcerned at Renji’s alarm at being watched secretly.

“Pft, who runs this place? It’s not spying if it’s in my own building. I have a right to know everything that goes on in this ward and that includes everything under or _on top of_ , my roof.” Renji blushed furiously, trying to think back over the past weeks he’d come here to feed the birds and hang out, supposedly _alone_ … God, he’d probably seen him scratching his nuts or something really embarrassing.

“Besides, I’m not _talking_ to them, I’m giving them a sound to copy. It’s fun for them.” Uta was unconvinced, giving Renji a dubious look.

“They talk back to you when you ask them questions. I’d say they understand some of what you’re telling them.”

“All songbirds can imitate. These guys are really intelligent and will copy your words if they think they’ll get food for it. They’re crafty as hell, especially the white one.” Uta huffed a laugh, admiring the wingspan of the albino crow. The white bird had stretched his wings over his head, preening as if he knew he was being talked about.

“Everyone was so convinced you were slipping away to meet with the enemy and you’re up here teaching ravens fucking _Japanese_ the whole time, go figure.”

"They’re crows.” Renji whistled through his teeth, grabbing the attention of the black birds scattered about the rooftop. They eyed Uta distrustfully, not used to his presence they way they were with Renji.

“There’s a difference?”

“See that little tuft of feathers at the top of their beak? Only crows have those. And ravens are country birds, crows will live anywhere there’s food.”

Uta peered at him with interest. Renji seemed really knowledgeable about birds. “How do you know all this stuff?” Renji shuffled his feet on the ground, sweeping breadcrumbs into a loose pile.

“I used to hang out in libraries in the wintertime to get out of the cold. I couldn’t get a card because I had no home address or an ID but I could read all I wanted during their open hours.” Uta squinted his eyes, studying their plumage with interest.

“They’re not all black, there’s blue and purple in their feathers too. Never realized how pretty crows were before.” Uta sighed.

“Wanna feed them?” Offered Renji, and Uta’s eyes widened, eager to see them close up.

“Can I?”

“Sure.”

Renji whistled again to the flock, reassuring the crows that it was safe to approach. He called softly to them. “It’s ok, guys. He eats people, not birds.” He shuffled through his messenger bag to dig out another bag of food. The flock perked up at the crinkle of plastic and hopped forward, eager for more treats. Renji scooped out a mixture of bread, birdseed and potato pieces and poured it into Uta’s outstretched hands.

“Scatter some of this around for them. No loud sounds or they’ll spook.” Uta tossed a few pieces of bread out for them and five of the largest birds started squabbling over them, nipping and flapping all over the place. The albino sulked some distance away, refusing to come forward to eat with the rest of them.

“Give them more than that, they’re a bunch of greedy assholes and they’ll fight themselves bloody over it.”

“We fight over our food, does that make us greedy assholes too?” Uta teased.

Renji’s lips split into a crooked smile. “Hell yes.” He chuckled.

Uta was momentarily transfixed by the way his entire face brightened when he smiled and he couldn’t look away. Renji’s smiles were so rare, he felt as if he had been given a gift. And his words were coming so easily right now, which was also quite remarkable. When he spoke about the birds, he almost glowed from inside. It seems he really loved them. Uta wanted to keep him talking, normally any type of conversation had to be pried out of the kid with a crowbar.

“Go on, chuck it to them. They’re always hungry.”

Uta scattered birdseed and tossed potato to the birds, grinning happily when they came close enough to touch. One crow plucked experimentally at the leather bands and bracelets Uta had layered over his wrists, to see if the fascinating objects could be absconded with. “Hey, you can’t have my bracelet, Mr. Crow. Be nice, now.” He met Renji’s grey eyes as he tentatively extended his hand toward it.

Renji warned him away from their sharp beaks but Uta moved cautiously, crooking a finger to gently stroke the small female that landed beside him, eager for something yummy to eat. She tittered softly as Uta held out his hand, offering some food to her.

“Oh, he’s _soft!”_ Uta made a happy sound, something between a breath and a giggle. He beamed widely at his friend, petting the wild bird gently as she carefully selected sunflower seeds from the palm of his hand. Renji looked on with pride.

“She.”

“It’s a girl? How can you tell?”

“Well, she was getting rather familiar with this guy over here a few weeks back.” Renji pointed to a massive bird that was busy wrestling a potato away from a smaller male. “They should be nesting soon.”

“It’s amazing that you can tell them apart. They all look alike to me.” Renji just grinned affectionately at the feeding birds. Uta’s attention was snared again by that magnetic smile.

“They can tell us apart. You know that crows name people they see often? They’re so smart that flocks have a specific call for each person that they don’t use at any other time.”

“Did they name you?”

“Yes, they did, and no I don’t do birdcalls so don’t even ask.”

“Aw…”

They watched the animals forage in silence, Uta sneaking looks at Renji every so often. He seemed so peaceful around the birds, tilting his head lazily to the side to watch them hop to and fro like an affectionate parent. He could almost see the ever-present tension in his shoulders relax as Renji drew a deep breath, a tiny smile on his lips. Another female flapped down to perch on Renji’s shoulder, rudely demanding more food by yanking on lock of silver hair.

“Oh my god, they really love you…” Uta breathed, lips parting in awe. He really was a bird whisperer.

“Calm down baby girl, you’ll get some too.” He fed the female unsalted peanuts one by one, murmuring to the creature softly and stroking the soft feathers of her breast.

“That was _so cool!!”_ Uta gushed as the crow he was feeding dove into flight after her belly was full. They tossed the rest of the food for the flock and settled back to talk softly until they were finished their dinner. When they were far enough away not to be startled by his voice, Uta shoved his face into his hands and shrieked, kicking his feet like an excited child.

“You do this all day? Come up here and talk to them? Fattening your greedy babies up with treats?” Renji brushed his uneven bangs off his face, not quite sure if he liked the sudden interest in his private time. If it was anyone else, Renji wouldn’t even bother responding. But with Uta it was…

It was _different_.

“I read. Or just sit. Nothing much, really.”

“Can I come up here too, sometimes?” Uta met his eyes with an imploring look. He seemed so different right now than the ruthless leader Renji knew him to be. In addition to the ease in which Uta could take your life, he had an innocent streak a mile wide. There were an amazing range of personality quirks in him.

“It’s your building, remember? I have no right to keep you away.” Renji murmured, gazing out into the magnificent sunset that was starting to light up the sky with a huge range of colors.

“But do you _mind?_ ” Renji took a moment and actually thought about it. He was territorial as hell about his privacy, but for once, he _did_ want company. Uta’s company. He shook his head, locks of silvery hair fluttering over his cheeks in the warm breeze.

“I don’t mind. Just don’t scare the birds.”

They talked together, watching the sky turn every shade of red, orange and pink. After the flock had eaten their fill and flew away to perch for the night, the albino approached silently. He pecked around the the leftovers, popping his head up after every bite and watching Uta with his pink eyes to make sure the strange teen wasn’t a danger to him.

“Why did he wait so long to eat?” Uta inquired with interest, his pencil moving over his sketchbook with rapid strokes, trying to catch the last bit of light. He captured the anatomy of the crow in several positions with minimal effort.

“He’s an outcast. Because he’s white and the rest of them are black, they set on him if he comes too close. He wants to be with everyone but they refuse to accept him because he’s different. He can’t eat with them, can’t breed. He’s… unwanted.” Renji neglected to mention that he felt a strong kinship to the albino, always being the pale, silent outsider. He knew how it felt.

“Wait, so that bird is the same kind as the others?” Uta stared hard at him, wondering why he didn’t realize before. He was good at noticing details like that.

“He’s an albino.”

“That’s sad. They’re his family, right?”

“I think so, or else he probably wouldn’t stick so close to them all the time. He does guard duty for the flock when they’re eating.”

“He guards them?”

“There’s always one crow that sits up high and watches for danger when the rest of them are eating and sounds the alarm if a hawk or something approaches. I doubt he would do that for another family group.”

“I hope he’ll get enough to eat.”

“Feel kind of bad for him, so I save the best stuff for him.” Renji dug in his bag for a packet of trailmix, scattering it over the roof for the albino to gobble up. “He knows he just needs to be patient.”

“He’s lucky to have such a caring papa.” Uta looked up from his work to smile warmly at Renji.

“He’s my favorite one out of all of them. I call him Loner.” Renji glanced shyly at Uta, as if he would laugh at him for naming a wild bird.

Uta sighed with admiration. “Mine too. He’s beautiful.” But his eyes weren’t looking at the albino crow, they were fixed firmly upon a different pale loner. Renji. Uta’s red irises seemed to be smoldering, reflecting the fire of the setting sun in his corneas. The light was gilding his skin and catching in his blonde hair, making Uta seem almost otherworldly at that moment. Renji’s breath caught in his chest, mesmerized by the affect before looking away, awkwardly clearing his throat.

They sat together on the roof, talking quietly until long after it was dark. When they rose to their feet to head back inside again, Uta wandered to the edge of the roof, the toes of his boots hanging out into empty space. On a whim, he wheeled himself upside down in a impromptu handstand, tottering haphazardly with a goofy giggle. He stuck the landing by neatly walking over, his spine flexing into a graceful arch as he turned himself upright again.

Uta sighed, shoving his hands into his pockets. “It’s really beautiful up here, with all the lights.” He looked over his shoulder at Renji, a secretive grin on his face.

“I’m gonna come back." 

 

* * *

 

Renji went about his business, coming up to the roof to read and feed the crows, always kind of hoping that Uta might show up. He did pop up once or twice, to talk with Renji while he sketched in his book. Uta filled page after page with complex drawings but never let his friend see what he was working on. He would refuse with a sly grin, telling Renji he'd just have to wait.

So he waited.

But after a while, Renji became worried that he had said something to piss him off, because he hadn’t come up to the roof in a few weeks. They saw each other in passing downstairs but Renji was too shy to strike up a conversation without a valid reason.

During a warm twilight several weeks later, Uta arrived at the top of the stairs for once. He had both hands held behind his back as if he was concealing something. Renji peered suspiciously at him, his kakugan swelling behind his eyes. But the red stain didn't bloom across the surface, it seemed as if he was learning to trust him easier now. It was an automatic reaction, and not something he could control. But Renji couldn’t stop his muscles from tensing up in case he needed to protect himself.

"Isn’t that just fucking _perfect…?”_ Uta breathed, as he took in the tableau of a platinum blonde with a snow white bird perched upon his knee, the sunset blazing in the background. Loner launched himself from his perch to watch distrustfully from the peak of the toolshed’s roof when Uta stepped closer.

“Yo, Renji. Have something for you.” His pierced lip turned upward into a soft smile.

“It’s not a death warrant is it?” Renji responded, only half joking. They were trying like hell to kill each other earlier this year, so the suspicion wasn’t entirely unfounded.

Uta scoffed at him. “Really? All the times I’ve come to visit you up here and told everyone the roof was off limits and you still think I’m gunning for you? ….I think I’m hurt.”

“No, I don’t. Not anymore.” Renji relaxed again, satisfied. He really didn’t, it was just an unbreakable habit, one that had kept him alive for so long in this hostile city. Uta sat down in front of him, throwing Renji into a column of shadow. His eyes gleamed a beautiful shade of deep crimson, as if they were lit from within.

“Here, I made this for you.” He brought a flat object wrapped in tissue paper, out from behind his back, placing it gently into Renji’s hands. He stared at Uta for a long moment, not used to being given presents for any reason. “Well? Open it!”

Renji peeled the paper cautiously from the corner of his present, shooting Uta a quizzical look. As he tore across the face of the object, he discovered what it was.

_A painting._

Renji held a twelve-by-sixteen stretched canvas in his hands, jaw dropping with amazement as he took it all in. “Careful, it’s still a tiny bit wet in a few places. I was just so excited to give it to you, I couldn’t wait.”

His grey eyes drank in Uta’s artwork, peeling the rest of the paper off with the utmost care. It was a picture of _him_ … painted in oils with loving, near-photographic detail. Renji was poised sitting lazily at the edge of the roof, one leg swinging over the edge. His anatomy was so naturally captured, down to the characteristic tilt of his head on his neck when he was completely at ease.

Uta had painted his silver hair in a delicate corona around his head that reminded Renji of an angel’s halo. It caught the light of a magnificent sunset in the transparent strands. Renji had always been kind of embarrassed of his pale hair because it automatically marked him as an outsider and drew unwanted attention to him. He couldn’t count the times he had been mistaken as a foreigner on account of his towhead. But Uta’s beautiful handiwork made him feel almost proud of his bright crown of hair.

Renji was painted with a contemplative expression on his face, looking peaceful and utterly relaxed. His soft lips were parted ever so slightly, highlighted to look plump and moist, as if he had just been kissed. Renji licked his own lips at the thought.

The crowning glory of the entire composition was the albino crow, perched elegantly upon his shoulder. Renji absentmindedly stroked the pearly down of his breast as they both gazed outward into the sunset. Loner’s gorgeous wings were outstretched, spread to catch the tangerine light in his white feathers.

Renji was struck absolutely speechless, shocked into stillness at the level of mastery Uta had over his art form. He knew he liked to paint and sculpt but Renji had no idea he was _this_ talented.

_“There is no way on Earth that I’m this… beautiful._ ” Renji thought hazily to himself. His jaw worked silently, trying desperately to come up with adequate praise for his friend’s craftsmanship. “Y-you painted this?”

Uta nodded happily. “Been working on it for a few weeks. it took forever to do because I kept restarting it. I wanted the angle just right so you could see the city lights and the sunset together. Wanted it to be a surprise.” Renji just shook his head, mouth still gaping with amazement.

“You don’t like it?” Uta’s face fell, his tone mournful.

Renji scrambled to rectify his assumption. “No! I mean, _yes_ … as in, I don’t _not_ like it, that is, I _do_ like it…. I mean… _fuck_ …” Renji stumbled over his words as they all tried to come out at once. He rubbed a hand over his face, drawing a great breath to center himself.

His gaze caressed his gift, and the serene atmosphere of the painting actually calmed him down some. Renji raised his eyes to his friend, seeing the familiar sight of his bleach blonde hair lit up from behind by the rays of the sinking ball of the sun. The yellow strands glowed in bands of pink and orange, mimicking the brilliant horizon in the painting held in his hands. Uta’s blood red eyes seemed more striking than ever before, glowing like precious stones from within the shadows.

Renji inhaled and began again. “What I meant to say was…” His voice soft and low. “I don’t _like_ it…”

"I _love_ it. It’s perfect.”

Renji had been totally thrown off balance by the thoughtful gift and as a result, he suddenly wanted to do something completely out of character for him. The mere idea of it was so daunting that his head swam as if he drank an entire bottle of blood wine in one go. _  
_

_“Go for it…”_ Renji psyched himself up.

With a trembling hand, Renji reached out to stroke the pads of his fingers across Uta’s jawline, brushing blonde strands from his cheek. With his heart pumping hard in his chest, Renji leaned in to give Uta a soft kiss on the lips.

“Thank you, Uta.”

Renji smiled shyly at his friend, face flushing hot, as expected. After an moment gazing into smoldering red eyes that seemed to last forever, he turned away to hide his blush. Renji set the painting down carefully on the hoodie he had spread out to keep himself from getting dusty as he sat at the edge of the roof. He lovingly straightened it out, then looked back again, hoping Uta wasn’t grimacing in disgust from such a strange act. He wasn’t disappointed.

His friend’s fingers were gently touching his parted lips, eyes wide in astonishment. He took a page from Renji’s book as his cheeks flared up in a blush of his own, grinning stupidly.

Renji settled back again, sitting close enough for their shoulders to touch. Uta awoke from his spell, scooting around forward so they could watch the sunset together. Renji drew his knees to his chest and spoke, his voice so soft that Uta had to lean in to hear him despite being right next to his friend.

“You know, I talked to Kira today.”

“O-oh yeah?”

"I turned down her offer.” One hand brushed against Uta’s on the ground. It was funny how one little touch of skin on skin could make his heart beat so fast. When Uta’s fingers curled softly around his, Renji felt like he might fall to pieces entirely. His smile rivaled the sun in its brightness.

“I told her that there’s… someone else I like.”

 


End file.
